New Players for the Game
by 91RedRoses
Summary: Tyrion Lannister thought he had met every type of woman from all his "travels" over the Seven Kingdoms. Then he met the Italian, the American, and the Liechtensteiner. The Seven Kingdoms will never be the same.


Chapter 1

Meet the Queen, Bishop, and Knight

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia and I don't own _Game of Thrones_ (either the TV shows, and will I do own a book, I am not George R.R. Martin so I don't own the story). I am just a sweet, little girl from KS living in AZ and going to college. So please don't sue me or do anything mean!

Lovina~~~~~~~~~~~

Lovina Vargas, personification of Southern Italy, sighed and once again watched as her best (not that she would ever admit it short of being threatened with England's—shudder—food) friends try to figure out where the hell they are. Alastrina F. Jones, the personification of the United States of America, turned her map of the world (meaning it was only a map of the US) upside down for the seventeenth time as she spun in a circle and Lili Zwingli, personification of Liechtenstein, tried her best to keep the older nation from falling over in dizziness. Lovina watched them lazily for a few more minutes before she decided she had had enough. She jumped to her feet, "Goddamn it Al, let the fucking map go! All it has on it is a picture of your country anyway and we are obviously not in the US, chigi!" This was beyond ridiculous and it was all bastard England's fault. If he had just let them get what they needed to prank those fucking bastards Prussia, France, and Spain, instead of hiding himself away in his creepy basement and forcing her and her idiot friends to search his house, they would have been able to get their rightful revenge by now and have gone home. But NOOOOOOO! He just had to be an English prick and leave out all his magic shit all over the place where some poor, unsuspecting and beautiful Nation would trip over it and pull herself and her friends with her to some hellish place in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. When she finally got herself (and her friends) back to civilization, he would have such a reckoning upon his head!

Alastrina looked over to the Italian beauty before sighing and agreeing. They had no idea where they were and it was getting dark. Not a good thing. "Well, the only thing we can do is try to find some place that either has people or camp," said Alastrina in a calm manner. Very unlike her, mused Lovina. Wait, did she just say _camp_? "Oh, no! I do not camp. I just got these clothes two days ago and I am not ruining them by camping on the ground, chigi!" This could not be happening! Oh, she was going to gut that Englishman! "Calm down, Vina," Lili said. "We will find some people and camping is really not that bad. It will be okay." Just then a pack of wolves howled. "Great! Wonderful! Now we have to deal with wolves?" Lovina was nearly in tears at this point. "Don't worry about it Lovina, the heroine is here and she will protect her two besties with no problem. Besides, wolves can be really sweet if you approach them right." Of course, of course the idiotic American would think wolves could be "sweet." At this point Alastrina gave her a big thumbs-up which made Lovina feel slightly better. If there was anyone who could actually protect her and Lili it would be the personification of the United States. There was a reason she was a superpower. She looked over at Lili and was confused as to why the girl had a frown on her face. "What is the matter Lili?" "It is just among the howling, I could have sworn I heard cries and screams for help." Lovina felt like crying again.

This was great. Because now instead of staying put and _away_ from the danger, Alastrina, heroine extraordinaire, would—"We have to go help!"—want to go _towards_ the danger. She tried reason, "Alastrina, we don't know where we are and we don't know if there is really anyone over there to help, or, hell, if they are even still alive to _be_ helped." Alastrina gave her a blank look. Okay, reason has failed. Now time to use numbers to win the battle. "Lili, please help me tell this _idiota_ that we are not going to be running towards a very painful death to help some strangers." Lili, however, was not looking at her and had the same expression as Alastrina did. An expression of stubborn, "I will be stupid and go risk my neck for strangers" that was frighteningly common on both of her friends. Great. What happened to all of Lili's brother Vash's training at being neutral? It was like this whenever Lili and Alastrina were together and something "heroic" needed to be done. All of Lili's neutrality training would go out of the window and Lovina would be dragged along because _somebody_ had to be the smart one. Lovina sighed again. She had lost; now she was going to have to go help the idiots before they both got themselves killed. "Fine, we will go look. But if we die, I am haunting both of you and never cooking for you again!" Now _there_ were the looks of fear on her friends faces as they both hurried to assure her that "she would be just fine and that she really didn't need to stop cooking, because nothing bad was going to happen, _promise_."

Tyrion~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, this day had gone down faster than a whore for a gold coin. It had started so well too, he thought as he desperately tried to keep from being eaten by the pack of direwolves. The day had been going well, too. It had started sunny with little wind and warm, or as warm as it could get this far north. He and his few men had started off with a nice rabbit for breakfast and had been making good time getting back to Winterfell before the day had gone downhill. The storm gave no warning. One moment it was lovely, the next the wind was trying to strip the flesh from his bones as the snow—if you could call what felt like frozen needles beating against him snow—tenderized whatever meat was left for the animals to crunch and swallow once he had become a carcass. The small party had thought the Seven Gods themselves had smiled down upon them when they saw the cave, and were laughing and smiling in good cheer when they found the cave appeared to be empty. The problem arose when it became apparent that while the cave _appeared_ to be empty, it was actually quite occupied. With direwolves. Hungry direwolves. Hungry, cranky direwolves that must have been elated to find their dinner walking straight into their home. And one piece of meat was bite-size for the puppies! Tyrion again dodged the direwolves teeth and claws.

By now he was running as fast as he could. His companions had already fallen to the direwolves. There were just too many of them. Frantically his mind ran through prayers from his childhood as he barely kept in front of the hungry jaws of death. As he turned to look back in hope, futile though the emotion was, that he had gotten away, tragedy for the small man struck. His foot slipped and sent him tumbling down into a ravine. He shot to his feet and looked right and left in desperation for some miraculous exit. Alas, there was none and the direwolves had cornered him. He was done for, his family name and promises of wealth and titles would be of no help to him now. As the direwolves approached the cornered man, his thoughts turned to his "loving" family. If his dear lord father did not have such a haterd for the Starks, Tyrion thought, he might add the direwolf to his symbol of the lion on his sigil in gratitude for finally getting rid of his shameful half-man son. The meanest direwolf stalked right in front of him with his fangs bared and jumped. Tyrion Lannister, son of Tywin, refused to close his eyes to his death though. While he could have never been a warrior like his brother, he could at least die bravely. But just as the teeth approached his throat, they were knocked away by a leg.

A very shapely leg, Tyrion thought in a daze. A very shapely, _naked_ leg attached to an incredibly lovely, young woman. And he did not just think that because she had appeared as his savior and dressed so indecently that he could not help but feel aroused by the sight of bared flesh. Now is not the time, he thought, but his other head argued back that it was fitting that the gods had decided to send him a beautiful whore—for what else could she be dressed as she was?—as a savior. Gods know he practically supported the industry by himself sometimes!

The whore-who-was-his-savior turned her head and Tyrion was caught in eyes blue as the sky. "Don't worry," she shouted, "the heroine is here and you are going to be safe!" Then she turned back to the direwolves. These monsters had carved a bloody path through armor-wearing, weapon-wielding and highly trained men twice her size. These monsters had teeth that were a foot long and were as tall as ponies on all four feet. They out-weighed her and their claws still dripped with fresh blood from their earlier meal. She held no weapon and barely wore enough clothes to cover her body let alone any type of protective armor. As one, all twelve of the direwolves attacked the woman. The odds were hopeless and the battle over in seconds. The direwolves never stood a chance against her.

Smearing off her bloody hands—bloody because she had just finished using them to rend the direwolves limb from limb and in some cases, _punched through their bodies_—the whor, lady—always call someone like that a lady, his brain screamed at him—turned back to him with a cheerful smile. "Well, that was easy! My name is Alastrina F. Jones, and who are you? Was there anyone else or any other big wolves around here because I know my friends are looking for them?" She smiled brightly as she spoke to him. His mind still felt in a cloud, shock most likely, and he answered her best he could, "My name is Tyrion Lannister, son of Tywin, Lord of Casterly Rock and Warden of the West and East now, come to think of it. Our dear King Robert just added that to my father's title. I believe that was all the direwolves, lady Alastrina, but I am afraid that my men were all killed by them and I am the only survivor—thanks to you, of course." The lady looked at him confused. "What is Casterly Rock and can you tell me where we are?" "Casterly Rock is the great castle of the Lannisters to the west and we are near the Wall." Seeing her blank look of incomprehension, he tried again. "We are north of the Neck in the Seven Kingdoms." Continued confusion. "I think me and my friends are a LOT more lost then we thought at first."

Lili~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lili was worried. She looked between her friends and the midget, Lord Tyrion, she reminded herself, and wondered what they were going to do. It was apparent to everyone that no one had any idea what was going on or how she and her best friends were to get back home. Vina was about ready to burst a blood vessel from how angry she was, and Allie was doing her best to look calm and confident like the heroine she styled herself to be, but Lili saw the nervous ticks of her friend's hands. Something had be done and quickly.

Lili turned to study the man that Allie had saved. He had explained that he was the son of a rich and powerful lord further to the south of this land, called the Seven Kingdoms. He seemed like a good sort of fellow. Lili's instincts told her they could trust him. And she was never wrong about her instincts. Her big brother Vash had taught her well. Besides, Allie trusted him and despite being a bit of a ditz and terrible at reading the mood, Allie was very good at subconsciously telling if a person was trustworthy or not. If Allie trusted him and Lili's instincts were right, then he was no danger to her or her friends. And if she and Allie were wrong? Well, her big brother had taught her how to deal with all kinds of men and it wouldn't be her first time killing a human. They were so easy to kill after all, especially for a Nation.

"Lord Tyrion, my friends and I are obviously lost and confused. And you are obviously in need of protection against wild animals and other dangers on the road; perhaps we can help each other?" She had everyone's attention now. "Why don't we travel together? We shall protect you and you can help us with customs and knowledge about your land. Is that acceptable to you?" She was certain he would agree, but the problem would be convincing Lovina who looked about ready to explode. The best thing to do was cut her off before she could. "I know you are uncomfortable around strangers, Vina, but the fact is we need his help as much as he needs us. We don't know where we are, how to get back home, and the last thing we need is to accidently break a law because we didn't know it existed. Not to mention, neither Allie nor I particularly want to have to start stealing to try to get money to survive. I know you don't either." And with that Volcano Lovina deflated. Oh, sure, her face was just as red but Lili could see her eyes and her eyes were considering. After a few more moments of tense silence, Lovina finally spoke, "fine, chigi." She clearly wasn't happy but she was screaming curses either, so that was good. Now all was left was for Lord Tyrion to agree. The three Nations turned to look expectantly at him. The blond man simply laughed and replied, "Turn down the chance to be escorted by three beauties and be protected at the same time? I would be more than a fool to turn down your offer!" He swept into a bow before sticking out his arm, "to a great friendship" he declared.

And, thus, the four companions were united.

Author's note:

Okay. This is my first really big challenge. I really love the series Game of Thrones (both the books and the tv series) and I love hetalia. So I am attempting to put them together. I hope you all like it! Please read and review!

Love,

91REDROSES


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